Drugs against pain ||

I have these empty holes in my body caused by missing love, support and security in my childhood.

Sometimes I don‘t feel the holes …

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

… but sometimes they terribly hurt.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

The emptiness comes as a big loud frightening wave.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

To not feel this, I stiff my holes.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

With sweets …

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

… that leaves the holes immediately.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

With your hugs I yearn for …

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

… which don‘t come back.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two
Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

This made me to a drug addict. Addicted to feel love, to feel what you used to make me feel.

But i don‘t want this anymore.

So I talked to my therapist and found out what else can stuff my holes.

Being in nature.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

Doing art.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

Moving my body.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

My holes will never disappear. They’re part of my physiology. Like someone else misses a finger or kidney.

Art, nature, sweets, sports and human relationships became to my proteses.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

But what ever i do, in the end of the day i come home, exhausted, and my holes start to hurt again.

Comic Panel Drugs against Pain two

Once my therapist asked me:

„Why don’t you try to stand the feeling of emptiness?“

„It‘s too hurtful“, I answered.

To be continued …

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